quit you (Turi)

expecting similar results

I told Kyla that I wanted to meet her gf.

The last time I tried to show that kind of strength [to win back B], it ended up being the closure that I needed instead. B&T were good together, and that's all I needed to see. In a bizarre plot twist, after the awkwardness died down, we entered a strong platonic three-way friendship that we still don't understand.

It's been a rough almost two years since I earned bonus points with Kyla, with nothing accomplished since then. If anything, I'll see what's good for me.
  • Current Mood
    peaceful peaceful
quit you (Turi)

expecting different results

New Orleans is like an ex. We've been off and on for, oh, 26.5 years. In all of those off periods I wasted a lot of energy pointing out nothing but the bad times to make myself seem like the victim. She's grown, been beaten down, and is working through her own issues, regardless of me. At the same time, I work through my issues with or without some other catalyst, and I can't help but cling to her for hope of someday making beautiful harmony again, to embrace each other, to be held in each other's bosom, to wake up to comfortable familiarity and know that everything will be okay, to make sense. The last three quality times I spent with her made me increasingly nostalgic for what used to be, but increasingly tolerant of the current work-arounds. Afterall, she has told me that she loves me. If there's any bit of that situation to be had again, it won't be exactly the same, and neither will the way we feel in the end. I can try to make it work if she allows the opportunity, or I can cut myself loose. At some point I need to realize the best direction for me [and her], and actualize it.

Passive-aggressive silence and time is not the best routine, but that's where I am now. I'm trying to be her friend, but it doesn't come easily for me at this stage. All I know is that the final stage is when I realize the life lesson that she taught to me, which can be applied to future relationships.
  • Current Mood
    weird it's that feeling that you just can't shake
lipsticking (Turi)

the fine line between running away from my problems, and opting for sincerity and fun

I ordered the skim, sugar-free, no sprinkles, no whip version of my usual coffee from Caribou. The taste wasn't too bad, but it lengthened the title of my order and made me that much yuppier. It's part of the process.

I am so over Matt and his Nemesis party. It's not even about New Orleans or Mardi Gras anymore. I can't wait for it to be over. This boy is exploitative and needs to be fired already, if only he weren't also being exploited by the higher-ups. I hope I don't come off too bitter in the interviews. I should've flown down last weekend and not felt so guilty about working two ice days from home.

I'm finally catching up with an old high school/college/family friend who's been working at the Post (2blks from my apt) since I last saw her at graduation. She wrote that tearjerking article last year about her parents losing everything in Chalmette and NO East (and moving to Houston). Anybody know if Dirty Coast has a physical location where I can pick up goodies instead of having them shipped?
  • Current Mood
    wishing i had neighboring coworkers who could drive me to the office, or who worked at all
go-go (Lee)


Dear Billy Corgan, please stay out of my head. kthx <3!
PS - Without D'arcy and James, you're just another one-hit Zwan'der.

An unrelated quote passed on from one of my more Republican slanting buddies:

Let all of the people who want to marry men marry men. Let all of the people who want to marry women marry women. Let all of the people who want to abort the babies abort the babies. In a couple of generations, there won't be anymore Democrats.
  • Current Mood
    wintry mixed
lipsticking (Turi)

gay down the middle 1Q 2007 tour

Insert a clever title for a potential roadtrip with SmiLy. First I want to "Chicago" some kids with a blanket and a baseball bat for flaking out on my girl. Then we want to round up some roller derby girls and mmhm. Lastly, I want to receive some crawfish and Gambino's silver petit fours intravenously while strolling through a Quarter/Marigny street music festival.

The Yo La Tengo show and The Rapture show were fun, except for the part where they kicked us out into the cold only to wait, reenter, and wait some more in the holding room. Luckily, I didn't coat-check. As often as I go to Baltimore, I should know how to leave it, but I don't. I knew my body would crash from pushing myself too hard at work, but I didn't know that I'd miss evaluation day. W00t missiles! I bought some cute goal shirts, but I still have nothing to wear around the celebs next week. I want to mark this turning point in my social life where I can have tons of shallow, meaningless acquaintanceships, or I can reclaim my butt-indented spot on the thrift store couch with my beloved bohemians. Settling with the latter does not mean sacrificing proactivity.

It's nice to notice that I'm constantly reassuring myself, "It's part of the process" of accomplishing my resolutions. It can only get better from here.
  • Current Music
    a date with john waters
lipsticking (Turi)

i tijuana'd without mimi


My lead said I looked like death last Wednesday. The stress has been pretty much the same every workday since then, except I roll out much later, all zombie-like, and auto-pilot my homeward commute. Today he expected to see a pool of blood around my desk when my computer rebooted without warning, abruptly halting the Elliott Smith cd that placated me into hours of unsaved coding. I needed to go for a long drive. I settled for a too-long drive to the nearby Caribou, only to return for meetings and more shitfannery. Zeitgeist and Sav-a-Center get bonus points for selling Caribou Coffee snack bars.

At the show tonight, Kathy and Katy bantered with audience members about creepy happenings during soundcheck... ghost = geist... zeit = time... Zeitgeist = ghost of time. And then Kathy talked about how female solo acoustic guitarists often get labeled as folk while their male counterparts, like Elliott Smith, are not labeled as such. I left before they got any deeper into my head (sexy thoughts).

I drove home, scooped the snow off of my windows, stood in the courtyard, and stared up at the falling sky. It was worth the blustery coldness leading up to that point.
  • Current Mood
    and now everything's all better
quit you (Turi)

meanwhile, ex-husband is making arrangements to return stateside

Not to be creepy, but my namesake [for the creepy S-word on my jersey] is in photo #30 on my alma mater's homepage. Hey, I was just minding my own business and trying to check my webmail but it kept routing me there. Instead of waiting, I resorted to Telnet for e-mail cuz I'm old sk00l like that. WYSIWYG? Wassat? LOLZ [/dork]

Aaron smells like Malaria
Katelyn smells like Vadonkadonk
Jen smells like Geronimo (not me)

I remember going home to shower and purposely not wearing my own deodorant, just so I could come back over and wear THE Ex's macho Gillette clear gel.

  • Current Mood
    umm I should be working....
lipsticking (Turi)

in the morning i will crank him up to get the oil flowing

The Arcade Fire - Headlights
Exit Clov - MK Ultra (from DC)
Le Tigre - We Like the Cars that Go Boom (you sang that to me)
Mates of State - Whiner's Bio (my ringtone)
Peaches - AA XXX (that's me!)
Pretty Girls Make Graves - Something Bigger, Something Brighter
Quintron and Miss Pussycat - Witch in the Club (9th Ward reprezent!)
Rage Against the Machine - Bulls on Parade
The Starlight Mints - Submarine #3

That's a list of bands and sample songs for zeldakitty to check out. They're not all my favorite bands, but whatever songs I possessed from them went into the soundtrack (playlist) of my day. And today was one of those days where people lined up at my desk with burning torches before I even took off my coat and put away my Superfood. I worked without eating and drank too much coffee, so I felt shitty and took myself home at 3:30pm, ate, passed out beneath Taffy, and then finished some documents. My lead resigned yesterday, so I thanked him for backing me up and in writing, too (especially the grad school thing). Thanks to him, upper mgmt is working out a raise or two for that position for which he suggested I apply in Sept. The way things run around here, I'll believe it when I see it. They said I'll "be happy," but money does nothing for me; I'd much rather blow it on others. Rachel Ray, err... I mean Mischa, bitches when I tip more than 15%, but I got used to tipping at least 30% to my regular bartenders who don't charge me properly (Leslie got over 300% once).

My life is already looking up; it's almost as if things make sense of themselves and fall into place just because I'm starting to live, and for me. However, I cannot explain why Besthoff gave me a stiffy when I pulled back the cover, revealed his hunky, red, glistening, Italian curves, and poured in fuel stablizer.
  • Current Mood
    pensive pensive